Systems > Willpower: You Can Create Again (Even If You’ve Been in Survival Mode)
The KidLit Creator’s Chronicle – Issue #40
Today we’re going to get real, and I hope this helps you in a little or a big way.
For a long time, I had a solid rhythm going.
I time-blocked, batched my work, tracked my time, and built systems that kept me moving forward. I planned strategically so I always knew where I was heading. I could sit down, focus, and get things done without too much internal resistance. That rhythm didn’t happen by accident (it was built over years), and it worked well for me.
Then last year, that rhythm fell apart.
It didn’t happen all at once. First, my dog had a stroke, and then we found out he had cancer. He couldn’t walk anymore, so I had to physically help him every day for weeks, almost like personal care. Some days I had to arrange help just so I could get to my volunteer work. It took a lot out of me, physically and emotionally. When he passed away, it was hard.
Then we adopted another dog. One I was warned would be “a bit of a handful.” That may have been an understatement. She chewed everything, broke things, and kept me in full-time damage control mode. On top of that, I was also dealing with a significant personal situation that needed attention, attending meetings and trying to resolve things that took both time and emotional energy.
I kept trying to get back on track. I’d start to pick things up again, and something else would happen. Every time I started to regain momentum, life would knock it out of me again.
That kind of stop-start rhythm wears you down.
Then, in August, I injured my shoulder. I also wrote off my car and had to deal with getting a new one. Because apparently, life was running a personal resilience bootcamp.
That was the moment my motivation really tanked.
My production had already been struggling. But once I couldn’t physically work (and then had to start over again), it wasn’t just about capacity anymore. I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up (inbox: 629 unread emails type catch-up!). Instead of creating, it felt like I was just coping.
I knew what had worked for me in the past. But now, even sitting down and doing the work felt ten times harder. It felt like I had taken a step back in my ability to just sit my butt down in the chair and work the way I used to.
That’s an uncomfortable place to be when you have big goals, and you care about what you’re creating.
A recent snapshot from my holiday.
When What Worked Stops Working
It was strange to realise that the things that had worked so well for me suddenly didn’t.
Time blocking, batching, time tracking, planning. Those weren’t just nice-to-have habits. They were core systems that kept me on track and helped me make real progress, week after week.
I still believe in them. I know they work. They’ve helped me achieve a lot, and I think they’ll keep working for me in the future. (You can definitely try them out if you haven’t!)
But they only work when I can actually run them.
The truth is, my injury last year wasn’t just an isolated incident. It came on top of two deeper issues that I’ve been dealing with for years: a spinal condition and long-term hormone imbalance, including chronically high cortisol. I’ve lived with them for a long time, but over the past couple of years, things started to tip over the edge.
My energy dropped. I found it harder to recover from even small physical setbacks. Every time I tried to push through or exercise to get stronger, I’d get sick. Colds, flu, exhaustion. I felt like a V8 engine trapped in a car that couldn’t get out of first gear, and it felt like every attempt to improve was followed by a crash.
So my attempted solutions were exacerbating the problem.
And at some point, it became clear: this wasn’t something I could just power through in my typical “I’m a soldier” fashion anymore.
So for a short while, I told myself, “I just need to adapt.” I tried to scale things down, adjusted my expectations, and thought maybe I just had to live with it and find a slower pace.
But that didn’t sit right with me.
Because I have big goals. And I’m not willing to build a life around low energy. I’m kind of like Celaena Sardothien in Throne of Glass, whose core belief or personal motto is: You do not yield. 😉
I don’t want to adapt to exhaustion. I want to adapt my body back to full capacity. I want to find the cause of the fatigue and fix it, not just live with it.
So that’s what I started doing.
I dug in, did the research, and started getting to the root of the issue (found out some wonderfully helpful things!). I began taking steps to rebuild from there.
Because for me, when you talk about adapting, I want to adapt my environment (including my body) to myself and my goals as much as possible, rather than adapting myself and my goals to my environment. In other words, I want to redesign the environment, the systems, and even the physical reality to support the work I know I’m meant to do.
I knew I couldn’t keep operating from survival mode. And I wasn’t going to.
Nature and taking photos make me happy, so I’ve gotten back to that. Here is one from my pool this morning.
Time To Change
The first thing I had to do was get honest with myself.
I couldn’t just go back to how things were before — because I found myself unable to pick up right where I left off. So instead of pushing to return to my old routine, I sat down and took a good, clear look at where I was now.
What do I actually want?
What do I really need to be doing right now?
What’s realistic, and what’s just noise?
I started stripping everything back.
Because when your energy is limited, you can’t just keep piling things on and expect it to work. I had to rethink my goals and what progress actually meant for me. What were the things I really wanted to achieve?
And I went in with the mindset of the big domino, an idea from The ONE Thing by Gary Keller — that if you focus on the right task, it can knock over the others with far less effort. Instead of trying to juggle everything, I asked:
What are the few things that will make the biggest difference — across my health, my life, and my business?
That’s how I got to three big pillars.
These became my anchors, and if I stay focused on these, I know I’m moving towards real progress again.
The 3 Big Pillars
1. Rebuild my body and health
This had to come first. If I didn’t have energy and mental clarity, nothing else would happen. So this meant dealing with the root causes, not just trying to eat healthier or exercise more (which would actually make me feel worse, due to my cortisol issue). It meant identifying what was wrong and actively working to change it.
2. Self-enhancement and personal growth
This is an inherent part of who I am. I want to keep becoming the person who can build the vision I have. That means investing in my mindset, my knowledge, my leadership, and my creativity. This isn’t fluff. It’s fuel. It’s something I prioritise daily, even if it’s just 15 to 30 minutes of focused input.
3. Push the crucial things forward in my business
I had to get clear on what really matters. Just the most important goals: the ones that directly support my mission, serve my audience, and create long-term momentum. When I have energy for business work, this is where it goes.
Are there other areas of my life that matter deeply? Of course. My daughter, my home, and other things. But these three are what everything else hinges on. They create the capacity for everything else to do well.
Do I get all three right every day? No. But that’s okay, as long as I keep improving. And when I feel off-track or overwhelmed, I know what to focus on.
Some pumpkins I saw while on holiday.
New Tools & Experiments
In the last part of last year, as I was rethinking and reprioritizing things, I knew I needed more than just good intentions and couldn’t rely on discipline alone.
I’ve always been able to push through when needed. But when your energy is unpredictable, grit isn’t enough. I needed more structure that would support the reality of where I’m at right now.
First, I made a new schedule.
It’s based entirely on the things I identified as most important: my health, my personal growth, and my business (and of course includes other essential areas of life). What’s great is that if I stick to it, I’ll automatically be doing the things I need to be doing. I won’t have to keep thinking about whether I’m covering everything. It’s already built in.
That’s actually one of the biggest challenges for me. I can sit down and work endlessly, and then realise the whole day’s gone by and I didn’t go for my walk or do the physical recovery work that’s essential for my health. So part of this new schedule is learning to honour all of my priorities, especially the most important ones.
Am I sticking to it perfectly yet? No. But I’m improving. I’m practising what I preach and focusing on: progress, not perfection. 🙂
I’ve also decided to start trying a body doubling/accountability app. I’m still choosing one, but basically these apps get you to work alongside other people live, and get stuff done. I’m curious to see how it goes and will give you an update soon!
I’m not reinventing everything, I’m keeping and re-implementing a lot of what has helped me in the past, but I’m also experimenting and seeing what actually helps.
Systems Beat Willpower
There’s a chapter in The ONE Thing that compares willpower to a battery — strong at first, but quick to drain. That always resonated with me, but since I had pretty good willpower, I still relied on that quite a bit (in addition to great systems).
That said, I definitely relied on systems a lot, and spent plenty of time creating and designing better ones. Time blocking, batching, planning. Systems were the reason I could stay focused and make real progress, even with a lot on my plate.
But as I’ve mentioned, last year, those systems stopped working for me.
With all the disruptions and barriers, I fell behind and found myself just trying to keep up. And the more things accumulated, the more I felt like I needed to push harder. But willpower alone just wasn’t enough.
That’s when I realised I needed new systems.
And not just in my work, but in my schedule, recovery, decision-making and environment.
Willpower is about effort.
Systems are about designing your space, tools, schedule, and habits so doing the right thing becomes the path of least resistance.
What About You?
If you’ve been struggling to stay consistent, or your routines have fallen apart, or you’ve felt like you’re just trying to catch up, again and again…
You’re not alone.
But if you have big goals like me, you do need clarity and a willingness to look honestly at what’s working, what’s not, and what needs to change.
So let me ask:
- What used to work for you that you’ve let go of?
- What might need to shift to support the season you’re in now?
- What’s your “big domino” — the one thing that could make everything else easier or unnecessary?
These questions helped me reset. Maybe they’ll help you too.
Another shot from my garden.
You Can Create Again
This isn’t about getting back to some perfect version of the past. It’s about building something stronger, and more sustainable, from where you are now.
You don’t have to just cope.
You can create again.
